Thursday, November 24, 2011

Happy Thanksgiving - No, Really

Dearest Readers, Followers and Friends,

I would be remiss, as a proponent of good etiquette and polite behavior, if I didn't wish all of you a wonderful holiday.
May you all show your thanks this year by treating each other with kindness, respect and the love you would like to receive.
- SSG

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Attention Shoppers

Dearest Readers, Neighbors, Followers and Friends,

I'd like to spend a few moments on a little thing that is going to turn into a BIG thing very soon.

SHOPPING.
  Christmas Illustrations - Image 5


Yes, the holidays and personal gift giving are right around the corner. In fact, some of you consider Thanksgiving as merely the carbo-loading necessary to make it through the marathon that is shopping in the city.

There is, in my opinion, something else that we all should load up on before we venture out into the sea of the unwashed, the rude, the bargain hunters and the tourists (which is a group that can combine all of the above after all).

That thing is manners. It's important to mention that manners and politeness in this difficult time are pivotal products o one other thing that we tend to have a lack of.....PATIENCE.

If a an entire family of tourists doesn't know any better and stops dead in its tracks to look up in the air at "OOH! Something Shiny!" and, thus, blocks your thoughtfully considered and timely progress try to be patient and ask them - without irony in your voice - if you may pass.

When you are in a crowd, an "excuse me" or an after-the-fact "pardon me" can mean a lot more than a "Happy Holidays" to the average person but, to nip the problem in the bud, JUST WAIT YOUR TURN!

The moment or two that you save by jumping a space in line or pushing your way to the front are really not worth the temporary hatred that your actions are going to instill in those around you.
Also, remember a wonderful adage of the modern era - You can shop online now, save money, have things wrapped and delivered to their recipient and not be forced to piss yourself off or those around you in the process. So, log on to your trusty computer and shop at home if at all possible!

ag·o·ra·pho·bia noun \ˌa-g(ə-)rə-ˈfō-bē-ə\ : abnormal fear of being helpless in an embarrassing or unescapable situation that is characterized especially by the avoidance of open or public places


Now I'm not suggesting that agoraphobia is a disorder to be cherished. No, NO! Just appreciate it for what a temporary case can do for you and those around you if contracted by choice!

Have yourselves a merry little (      insert celebration here       ) and be thoughtful, kind and safe.

- SSG

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

AH, That Time Has Come 'Round Again!

Dearest Readers & Followers - and those who have haphazardly lost their way on the daunting web,

That time surely has come 'round again.
That time of glistening brows, expectant faces, sticky fingers and mists twinkling in the air.
Am I talking about the holidays with all those sugarplums so near at hand?

NO!

I'm talking Cold and Flu Season!
Click to view
Those glistening brows have been brought on by fever, expectant faces by never knowing from where the next hacking cough will issue forth, sticky fingers digging for lozenges (elbows akimbo in even the smallest and tightest of places) and the twinkling in the air? The unconfined spray from uncovered sneezes and coughs in those aforementioned contained spaces.

It's not rocket science folks - COVER YOUR DAMN MOUTHS WHEN YOU COUGH AND SNEEZE!

WHAT?!? You mean ME? OOOOOOH! I thought the rule was "cover my infected pie-hole only when and if I think about it!"

I recently witnessed a man on the subway of this fair city playing some sort of game on his smart phone.
Side bar: Apparently, you can buy a smart phone now even if you're decidedly...well... NOT.

But, I digress....

I saw this man using his phone on the train, playing some video game or another, which apparently required both of his hands and the lion's share of his tiny intellect. When he felt the overwhelming urge to sneeze, he did so....all over the person standing in front of him, spraying her with whatever cooties he was playing host to at that moment. And not just once, mind you....but THREE TIMES!!!

I know what you're going to ask.....Did he cover his mouth? Did he let go of the insipid electronic game he was playing, even with one hand?!?
No, dear ones, he did not.
And when the poor receptacle of his stupidity AND germs asked him to cover his mouth he looked back at her dumbfounded! As if he had never heard of the concept of germs and bacteria flying through the air and indiscriminately latching onto and subsequently infecting whatever or whomever is in its path.

And was this some kid? Wet behind the ears, whose parents never tried to steer him in the polite and healthier direction of keeping his maladies to himself? NO. He was, by my assessment, in his late forties or early fifties. SHAMEFUL.

Now, come ON! You don't have to be brilliant to figure out that that is wrong - not to mention disgusting and rude.

Contagion Poster

Please, dear friends and readers, let's all try, this season to teach by good example and should that not work, let's round up all the idiots and force them to watch a screening of the recent release of the critically acclaimed film, Contagion, and further enhance their experience by providing one BIG, communal tub of of germ-ridden popcorn!

Please, stay healthy!

- SSG